Proof of Existence
by ikuzonos
Summary: Saihara was used to binding away all his problems, but this was something that no combination of nylon and spandex could fix. (NDRV3 Ch 1 and Endgame Spoilers, Character Death, Kaede/Saihara)


_Up, up she goes, hoisted by a rope that's tight around her neck. The disjointed melody fills the room as she's relentlessly smacked against the giant piano. She's clearly trying to scream, but no words will come out of her mouth, and her face is growing blue._

 _Up and down against the monochrome keys. Tears are running down her face, but it's too late, it was too late from the moment you reached out to grab her hand, only just brushing her fingers before she was pulled into the ceiling._

 _Maybe you're crying too, or maybe you're completely numb. Your mouth has gone dry, and all you can focus on is her, as she grows weaker and weaker._

 _(and then she falls still.)_

 _(and then the spiked piano crushes her.)_

* * *

Saihara shot awake.

Sweat rolled down his face as his tried to calm his shaky breathing. He was still in the tiny room that he, Maki, and Himiko were sharing at the moment. Saihara gripped the sides of the bed, his stomach twisting.

He'd had that dream every single night since Kaede died, and it had only intensified after escaping. Saihara was used to binding away all his problems, but this was something that no combination of nylon and spandex could fix.

He glanced around the dark room. Himiko was curled up in a ball on her bed, wrapped tightly in a blanket. She twitched a few times in her sleep, but didn't awaken. Maki was leaning against the windowsill, a cigarette between her teeth. The orange ember was the only light in the small room that didn't come from the moon outside.

He carefully swung his legs over the side of the bed, and walked over to where she was standing. Neither of them spoke, but Maki produced a box of cigarettes and held them out in his direction.

"I don't smoke," he muttered, "You know that."

Maki scowled, and removed her own from her mouth, "I didn't either before this. It's one of those things that end up happening."

Saihara said, "You're going to cause permanent damage to your lungs."

Maki huffed, "I don't care."

"I had the dream again," Saihara said suddenly.

Maki took a long puff of her cigarette before responding, "No kidding. We're all stuck with nightmares, Saihara. Do you really think Yumeno and I are doing any better?"

Saihara silently shook his head.

"That's what I thought," Maki muttered, "Go back to sleep."

* * *

They sat in the library together, piles of books beside them. Saihara had always enjoyed reading, especially as a child. It had always gave him a reason to leave the eye searing pink of his bedroom, and inhale the soft scent of the paper.

Kaede hummed quietly as she read, and Saihara found himself tapping his fingers along to the melody.

"Hey, Saihara-kun?" she asked suddenly, "Why did you become a detective?"

He replied slowly, "My uncle took me along with him to crime scenes when I was younger. And... I've always loved a good mystery novel. I guess I wanted to do some good in the world, but I don't know if that really works out."

He bit down on his tongue. He was rambling again.

To his surprise, Kaede smiled, "That sounds really interesting! I became a pianist mostly because I wanted to make music... and because I hoped a little that it would make people happy. Is that silly?"

"Not at all," Saihara affirmed.

He closed his eyes for one moment, a blissful smile on his face.

When he opened them again, the room was a shade darker than before. Kaede stood a few feet away, quivering. Saihara leapt to his feet and raced over, only to freeze in place.

Fresh blood dripped down from Kaede's hands onto the carpet below. A bowling ball lay on its side next to her, cracked and stained. She looked up at him with watering eyes, and sniffled.

Before he could get a word in, Kaede grabbed him by his collar, and cried, "You have to save them! Please... Please, I know I failed, but you have to keep everyone safe for me!"

"Akamatsu-san-"

" _Please_ ," Kaede begged, the blood spreading from her hands to his shirt, "I'm so, so, sorry."

* * *

His eyes flew open, his heart deep in his throat. It was half past two in the morning, and Maki had fallen asleep.

Saihara slammed his head against the pillow, and pulled his blanket over him tighter.

* * *

Kaede's room smelled faintly of fabric softener.

She waved to him and smiled from her bed when he entered, and he found himself smiling back just as easy. He closed the door, and approached her awkwardly.

Kaede giggled, "You can sit down if you want."

Saihara lowered himself onto Kaede's bed slowly. It sunk a little bit under his weight, but not so much that it would swallow him whole.

"Are you okay?" she asked, "You look a little nervous."

"I've never been in a girl's room before," Saihara responded. That was only partially a lie.

Kaede said, "There's no need to fret! I just wanted to hang out with you some more, y'know? Everyone here is really nice, but... I feel like I can trust you."

Saihara's face flushed, "M-Me?! But why?"

Kaede said, "You're honest. You wouldn't stick your hand in the cookie jar, even if nobody was around."

Saihara smiled weakly, the uneasy tightness of his chest building.

"I could even trust you to expose me as a murderer," Kaede continued, her tone nonchalant, "Even though we were so close, you still told everyone the awful truth about me."

He turned to look at her. She was crying again, and the blood was back on her hands.

 _No, you're innocent. You would never... you could never!_

Kaede laughed, her voice filled with anguish and pain, until a claw burst down into the ceiling and snatched her away again.

* * *

Three fifty-six in the morning.

Saihara took three sleeping pills, then promptly lay down in bed again.

A light wind blew across the grass. Saihara's hair moved a little in the breeze, but mostly stayed tucked under his hat. Kaede sat next to him, her eyes closed and her face solemn. They had been sitting underneath this tree for the past few hours, neither speaking.

Still, Saihara could feel their time running out.

"This is my last good memory of you."

Kaede whispered, "I know. I wish we could stay like this forever."

The sky overhead was grey and cloudy, and the air smelled of rain.

Saihara said, "You never killed anyone."

"Mmhm."

He added, "You shouldn't have been executed. Shirogane killed Amami-kun, not you."

Kaede replied, "But I _thought_ I did. There's not much of a difference."

Saihara said, "Yes there is! You were entirely innocent, and the mastermind just wanted you out of the way... It wasn't fair."

"Try not to hate her," Kaede said.

"She _killed_ you!" Saihara cried, "Why wouldn't I hate her?"

Kaede shrugged, "We were all brainwashed, weren't we? Who's to say that she didn't get brainwashed herself? She might not have always been that way."

Saihara took a deep breath, "Even so... I can't help it. You deserved better."

Kaede grabbed his hand, and scooted closer to him, interlacing their fingers. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and murmured, "Don't worry about that now. We can't go back and change the past."

"I know," Saihara murmured under his breath, "I just wish I could have."

They didn't speak again, just continued sitting under the tree, as the sky grew darker and darker.

* * *

Saihara's eyes flickered open three minutes before nine. Maki and Himiko were awake, playing a silent game of cards while sitting crosslegged on the floor.

He sat up, rubbing his face, when a cold breeze blew through the room, causing the hairs on his neck to prick. A voice echoed, but it seemed that only he was able to hear it.

 _"I will always be with you."_

A single tear rolled down his cheek.


End file.
